Five Nights at Freddy's: The Story You Never Knew
by LolJokeTehBunnie
Summary: A story long lost to history as we know it... Wait. No. Come on...We can't be beating this dead horse, it's a skeleton, for pete's sake! Gah...Whatever. It's not like I tried or anything. It's rated M for some language and the shooting of a dong. Oh, and because I've put little to no love in this. (By the way, this is completely satirical in nature...So yeah)


FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S 5 -THE STORY YOU NEVER KNEW-

One day Some Guy read the newspaper, and saw that a company called "Fazbear History" opened a museum dedicated to the "unsolved" horrors of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria...And the New Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria...and Fredbear's Family Diner...and Fazbear's Fright...and some kid's home...

Anyways, so Some Guy obviously takes the job , and shows up at the museum. As it turns out, the museum was built inside a Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, but it's one that you've never heard about, to keep things fresh. At 12 PM, Some Guy gets a phone call. The caller was actually a pre-recorded message from the owner of the museum, Phone Sir.

Phone Sir told Some Guy how he had a very creepy obsession with Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, so at the auction that was held after Fazbear's Fright burnt down, he bought all the objects that were being sold. Not a single object slipped from his grasp.

As it turns out, the fire that destroyed Fazbear's Fright was a really shitty fire, because a bunch of stuff survived it. Drawings were taped to the wall, robotic arms laid in display cases, and some Toy Animatronic heads hung like trophies off the wall. Even the Paper-Plate guy got out unharmed. Seriously guys. Come the fuck on.

This scenery was to create the illusion that you were in a Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. Of course, every establishment even remotely related to Freddy Fazbear's has shitty working conditions, as Phone Sir tells Some Guy. The door that leads into the office has a drawbridge mechanic, where you have to press and hold onto a button to have it slowly close. The second you remove it, the door reopens. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, instead of a normal ass door, you get this horse crap.

Oh, and there's another thing too. It's a vent in your office. You can do the exact thing to the vent as you can with the door, but it's a vent. You know, to keep the burglars out.

Phone Sir tells Some Guy that he should be careful, because along with all that extra Freddy Fazbear memorabilia, he had someone build FUCKING ANIMATRONICS. They used the exact same endoskeleton parts, and some of the parts of suits as the original animatronics, so you know them bitches be haunted.

So Phone Sir leaves Some Guy to ponder why he didn't get his degree, and Some Guy goes through the camera system that's in every FNAF game (*cough**cough*). As it turns out, Phone Sir was stacked or something, because he actually put together a pretty good looking establishment. The entire building had a layout similar to the New Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria (wait...I'm seeing a pattern here...).

On the show stage area, there were three animatronics: Salvaged Freddy, Salvaged Bonnie, and Salvaged Chica. These names are super original, and edgy as well. At first, Some Guy thought it was ridiculous to think that animatronics could come to life, despite the obviously large amount of people who have taken this fact to the press.

However, his entire attitude changed when he saw that Salvaged Bonnie left the show stage. Instantly, Some Guy shit, pissed, and threw up on himself simultaneously. The nope factor had increased significantly. When Salvaged Bonnie reached the guard's left door, Some Guy shut the door, having to watch as Salvaged Bonnie slink away. That's right, the game's in full motion, to make up for the fact that it's the fifth game in the franchise.

Some Guy managed to reach 6 AM. So of course, he had to run home and change his pants.

Ooh, what's this? A super SECRET minigame that you're required to play through after the night is over. So in this one, you're playing as...Springtrap? Okay...Interesting...

So Springtrap is inside Fazbear's Fright. He's in the far back room, and the player makes him walk around. Unfortunately, the game's bullshit, and makes you have to enter one of the events. As soon as you reach the end of one of the vents, the game crashes, and you get sent to your second night.

So, despite knowing he'll die, and despite the fact that absolutely nothing good could come out of continuing to work at the museum, Some Guy returned to the pizzeria. This night, Phone Sir tells him that Foxy is kept in a closet, and this night and onward he'll rush down one of your doors. So you'd best to keep your eye on the left door (Okay...I'm definitely seeing a pattern here).

Some Guy manages to live, of course. So he goes home and sleeps.

The second minigame, oh...We're back here already. Anyways, you're Springtrap again. And again, you nearly get into the office but lose. Ah, fuck it, it's gonna be the same minigame until the fifth night. Just skip!

So, after shenanigans, a few references to characters in previous FNAF games, and Some Guy finding out that the Puppet, Golden Freddy and Nightmare are all active later on in the game, we reach night five. Some Guy cheered as he received his paycheck from...Who the fuck knows. I don't know what's happening anymore.

So in the fifth night minigame...the building is on fire! You can tell because small red and orange triangles are everywhere on the screen. So the player rushes Springtrap to the office, and this time, they can actually get inside. But this time...We see...The person who was in the office all along was...The Puppet. As Springtrap approaches the Puppet, there's a loud crash, and the screen goes black. Then a THE END screen is seen, with a newspaper being seen. On the newspaper it says that the Museum is open for visitors, with a subtitle saying "The Nightmare Lives On". Oh Scott. You fuck.

Then you find that there's a sixth night. OH. BOY. So you do that. And it turns out, there's a black-charred Springtrap that somehow showed up. So as 6 AM happens, an odd event occurs. As Some Guy was about to leave and receive his paycheck, the power goes out...Even though there's no power mechanic in this game. Some Guy tries pressing the door buttons, but it doesn't work. After a few seconds in the dark, Salvaged Freddy approaches the left door. His eyes light up, and starts playing the Toreador March, but in an eerie, decrepit way, like someone beat the shit out of the music box that played the song. After a few seconds of this, Freddy goes silent, leaving Some Guy in the dark once again. Then Salvaged Freddy jumpscares you. But...Then...We find out something important...

The Some Guy's identity was revealed.

It's Plushtrap.

Plushtrap pulled out some guns, and starts shooting Salvaged Freddy in the groin. As Salvaged Freddy screams in pain, the bell chimes, telling Plushtrap that his shift is over. Salvaged Freddy curled into a ball, fondling his ruined dong.

Oh, hey, another mini-game. Fuck yeah. This time you're nobody. It's just a box with two locks (oh god no...). You hit it a few times, and it opens, revealing an article saying "Five Nights at Freddy's the Movie – Director reveals plans for an entire trilogy of movies, as well as a TV mini-series". This is what we get. God, please, kill me.

Oh look, a custom night, we haven't seen that in a while. So you can edit the AI for Salvaged Freddy, Salvaged Bonnie, Salvaged Chica, Salvaged Foxy, G. Freddy, Nightmare, Puppet, and Burnt Springtrap (Yes, I realize that those are a lot of characters for a game with two doors only. I thought Scott would have realized that as well). So when you beat that, you get a pink slip that says you're fired for shooting Freddy in the dong and messing with the animatronics. So yeah. That's the game. You can screw around with the AI some more, but we all know that it's there for Markiplier to do the 20/20/20/20/20/20/20/20 mode.

Oh well. At least this is just a stupid fanfiction. It's not like Scott would make a fifth game, even though the fourth should have been the last one!

Right?


End file.
